


Dirk Uchiha and Mistakes

by fefsprites



Series: Narutostuck [2]
Category: Homestuck, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Child Neglect, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mentioned John Egbert, POV Dirk Strider, Prophecy, Self-Hatred, Sibling Abuse, Sibling Rivalry, narutostuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 02:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21819574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fefsprites/pseuds/fefsprites
Summary: There were very few things Dirk truly thought himself capable of; Caring for children was not one of them.
Relationships: Dave Strider & Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker & Dirk Strider, Roxy Lalonde & Dirk Strider
Series: Narutostuck [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1438516
Kudos: 11





	Dirk Uchiha and Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> Finally finished this! It's been sitting in docs waiting to be finished/adjusted for months now... Probably because Dirk is a character hat is difficult for me to get a handle on. I know his ins and outs, yet I can never seem to write him :(
> 
> Welp! W/e, it's done now!! Hope ya'll enjoy more Narutostuck ;p

Dirk had left his home only a few days prior, ready to thrust himself into what could very well be a month full of sleepless nights, minimal food intake, constant watching, and inevitable  murder . 

He had hugged Roxy goodbye, telling her he’d be back before she knew it. She laughed at him, saying something along the lines of ‘Long as you don’t get killed!’, joking, knowing Dirk could more than handle himself on the mission. Knew that if he didn’t take on S-Ranks near constantly, he may very well go stir crazy, much as he had after…. She had his punched arm, and pushed him out the door as he dragged his heels dramatically, regret and guilt pushing itself to the side in favour of goofing around with his cousin.

It was normal.

It had never crossed his mind, even once, that he’d receive a letter attached to a bird from Jane within the first week of his absence, to read over words that could never, in a million years, be true.

Yet, as his gut clenched, twisted in anger, in a wrenching sort of terror, he knew that it was true.

His father, barely even a father with how he took on more missions than even Dirk did just to avoid his family, his own damn children, was a man no one knew. Even his remaining teammates, Roxy’s mother and a Nara clansman, knew nothing about him. If Dirk ever asked his aunt about what his father was like when he was young, he would quickly be met with her humming in thought, running over what she could even tell him, and she’d never say much. ‘Oh, he’s a… A hard worker,’ was the best she could offer. Even as an adult, if he asked, it was always the same. The man was an enigma, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in child neglect.

What Dirk did know, however, was that he had no interest in anyone, let alone his own kids. How he had managed to convince a woman to have his babies was beyond Dirk’s imaginative capabilities.

Roxy’s mother had taken care of him, of Dave, on top of her own children. She was in a loving marriage, always fawning over her husband, and showering her daughters and nephews in gifts and affection. Dirk hated the affection, actively avoided it even as a small child, preferring to keep to himself, the burning sense to not get attached biting at his core from the few years he had been raised by his father. Dave, Rose, and Roxy all loved it, though, the lot of them all being better people than Dirk could ever hope to be. Soft and loving. They would survive longer than Dirk.

Or so he thought.

It took a week to return, having to of taken a roundabout way to the village to avoid attention being called to him. He did want to return to the mission at some point. And when he made it back, no one could look at him. Every ninja in the village, even the damn common folk, could nary even glance his way before catching his flash of stark blonde hair, then cringing away, not wanting to see one of the few remaining.

The avoidance was welcome, despite the connotations around it, as normally he would’ve been swamped, men and women alike rushing to him like moths to artificial light, to swoon over him, and keep him from his work with their inane babbling and courtship rituals.

He would have thanked his father, if he hadn’t just murdered their entire family.

His steps were strong, assured, as they always had been. Yet he noticed it, something small, and barely there - Hesitance. A little dragging here, an unnoticeable shuffling there. Not even Jane picked up on his newly acquired quirk as she quietly waved him over.

She was dressed as casually as she would feasibly let herself be, heels not as high as he was accustomed, her height only slightly higher than his own unlike her usual towering figure, dress adorned with a new spattering of hot pink, a little charm Dirk recognized as the mascot character ‘Mutini’ that Roxy had been obsessed with since they were children, back when Jane was not a friend, someone the two Uchiha could speak to on even terms, as peers, but a teacher. Evidently, Jane had taken note of Roxy’s love for the cat, having attached it to her sash.

Dirk nodded to the woman as he finally made it up to her, before he caught sight of what he could very well call a tombstone. He had to commend Jane for how quickly she worked, already having an engraved stone, likely made of some type of imported rock from how glossy it was, carefully set up outside the compound.

Without even thinking, his hand traced over the names - Most of which he didn’t recognize, likely distant cousins, or people he was no longer related to, all Uchiha. And one, only one, he dwelled on, feeling a pang in his chest as he ran his fingers over it, lips sealed in a tight, thin line.

If he had showed how upset he was in that moment, would Rose of thought more of him? Not seen him as an emotionless monster, like his father before him? Would she still be with them?

Thinking back on it, as soon as he had looked down at her and Dave, her gaze was already cold - Colder than even his own, bags that no child should have had in that era deep, dark, contrasting against her skin. Dirk knew her look, of distrust, and the meaning behind it. He looked so much like his father, right down to their choice in eyewear, how their hair refused to be tamed, swept up in whatever way it so pleased. He saw in her a hate that none could replicate, ripping him to shreds in her mind's eye.

He wanted to do something to ease the burning stare that bore into him as he ran his hand through Dave’s hair, his brother staring down at his feet, tiny hands clinging to the hem of his own shirt, shaking ever so lightly. He knew he couldn’t stop her, though, if she wanted to hate, then why not let her? It was a terrible thought, but he had always dealt with his own hatred that way, seeing nothing wrong with bottling up his emotions to avoid unpredictable situations.

Jane had spoken to him briefly, the two going back and forth for minutes, arguing quietly enough that Rose nor Dave would hear, over what to do about housing - They couldn’t live in the Uchiha compound, as it had been turned to naught more than a pile of ashes and bloodied stains. Eventually Jane wore him down, her overbearing nature crushing his need to prove himself as capable in yet another field. She knew he could afford a place already, knew he could give the children a nice home, but she also knew he’d go overboard. That he’d secure a home that was too large, too spacious, that he’d never see the kids unless he actively sought them out.

She was right, of course.

Dirk could pretend that taking care of children was just another stepping stone to becoming perfect at everything, but Jane knew he was distant, far more distant than even she was if given the chance.

So, she provided the three of them a small apartment, perfect for a little family like theirs.

Years had passed since then, the world kept spinning, and Dirk came to the realization he should never be allowed to influence children.

It started with Rose.

She had kept her hatred, held onto it like an old woman clutching her pearls, refusing to let it go and letting it fester within her. Dirk was to blame, he never tried to help his little cousin, never listened to her when she tried to talk to him about her problems, brushing her off, or running away to avoid her emotions. Shortly after her 16th birthday, she ran away from home. At first, Dirk didn’t think anything of it, it was what teenagers did, right? He recalled Roxy doing the same at some point. He expected her to return home within a few days. Those days turned into weeks, then months, and he had to simply accept it when her face turned up in his bingo book.

Dave never forgave him for simply accepting that Rose had become a criminal, yelling at Dirk, arguing with him over why, why he had rolled over and let Jane do as she pleased. It took only a week for Dave to pack his things, and to go live with the Sarutobi heir. Dave shut himself off, shut himself down, only allowing his anger to show through when he saw Dirk, seething remarks, glares, and abrupt leaving all proving to Dirk he was again to blame.

Then, years later, it was Calliope and Caliborn. What he would consider his biggest mistakes.

Being a teacher was like being a father, something Dirk thought he had some knowledge on having raised his brother and cousin. So, when Jane asked him to become an instructor for the most recent genin class, he had accepted. Perhaps it was a chance for him to do better, to help a trio of kids grow up properly, and not end up like Rose and Dave.

The endeavour was difficult, far more difficult than he anticipated, especially as he saw two thirds of his squad. The village’s best kept secret, otherwise known as the children of prophecy, Calliope and Caliborn.

Calliope was sweet, soft, but she fought back against Caliborn when he bullied her to the best of her ability, even as her body got weaker and weaker. Dirk wasn’t sure how to deal with her fluffy nature, and it showed in how he dodged her affection, hugs, head pats, and hand holding. It never deterred her, his avoidance, her singular visible eye wise beyond her years with a keen understanding.

Caliborn was her exact opposite. A rough, rowdy boy, with a penchant for undeserved violence, and sibling abuse. Somehow, Dirk found himself focusing on Caliborn more-so than the other two, seeing a glimmer of hope to change the boy in how even as he hit his sister, he still vehemently defended her, picked her up when she couldn’t walk anymore due to her lungs nearly giving in on her, how he patched her up, and so many other things that somehow made Dirk want to make him better -- better than Dirk could ever be. He was one half of the prophecy foretold by their ancestors after all, and perhaps it was narcissism that made Dirk try to turn Caliborn into a god, perhaps not. Whatever it was, Dirk would come to regret listening to it.

Dirk had only heard about it from Joey and Jude after they returned from what should have been an easy mission for Dirk’s old squad, now headed by Sarutobi Joey, with the foursome returning within a few weeks at most. However, it turned into a waking nightmare for all but Caliborn.

Joey explained it as Caliborn and Calliope arguing as they always had, yet something felt off as Caliborn raised his voice, preparing for his usual attempt to attack Calliope, Joey ready to step in as she had taken to doing -- But as she rose from her spot, Caliborn had yelled out something along the lines of ‘We were meant to be one,’, before he turned his aggression on Joey and Jude, his ranting becoming unintelligible, all forming around Calliope, telling her if she had just stayed inside him, he wouldn’t have to hurt anyone to become his true self.

As Dirk listened to her retelling, he felt an oh, so familiar pit form in his stomach. The pit of regret, and guilt, the building realization that it was all his fault. He fucked up again, he ruined another kid, and created a monster to rival Rose.

He had excused himself shortly after Joey had said she didn’t know where Calliope was, or if she was dead or alive, bile burning at the back of his throat, the hair on his body all standing on edge.

Arriving at his empty home, filled with dusty pictures of his family, of his squad, of everyone that vaguely mattered to him, he broke. No tears escaped him, but he shook, and shook, and shook, ripping at his hair, drool pooling on the floor below his curled body. One thought ran through his head, consuming him.

If only he could’ve been better.


End file.
